I was right

I was right.  Twins.

After four hours in the ER last night:  twins.  Hematoma like with Zev and twins.

Lord help me.

I give up

I give up on meal planning.  Seriously.  I can’t even pack my lunch for tomorrow because the thought makes me want to throw up.  I’ll just have to do my best somehow.

Did a half-assed upper body lifting today.  Too tired:

1. Incline bench:  45×8 and then 4 sets of 55×6
2. Seated row:  four sets of 100×10
3. Seated db press:  four sets of 17.5×10
4. lat pulldown:  four sets of 70×8
5. cable fly:  three sets of 40×10
6. face pulls:  three sets of 60×10

Blah.  Can’t eat anything with any color or I want to puke.  All I want are carbs and white foods.  Good challenge for me, I guess….

hormonal craziness

lower body workout.  I haven’t done it in awhile, so it was a nice addition.  I had actually been looking forward to it….I missed it.  My strength was pretty down, though.  That’s ok.  Form over weights.

1. Squats:  1 warm-up at 45 then 4 sets of 8 at 55
2. One leg leg press:  4 sets of 8 at 50
3. Cable side twist:  4 sets of 10 at 50
4. Leg extension:  4 sets of 10 at 108
5. Leg curl:  4 sets of 10 at 45
6. Side bends superset with back extensions:  3 sets of 10

Did some cardio as well at home on the bike.   

I didn’t post yesterday because I was pretty tired.  But I did the crazy thing I did when I was pregnant with Zev:  went in and demanded a blood test.  Ha.  I had to trek all the way to Waltham in order to get the results that afternoon; good thing Moore is away.  Positives:  hcg was 17,000 and P4 was over 40.  So even though I wasn’t feeling pregnant, hormonally I certainly am.  And then coincidentally the aversions hit…any thing green = blech.  My last two dinners have been completely white.  I couldn’t even eat the lunch I packed today and just had to have my cottage cheese and ate when I got home.  Although I feel physically icky, it is nice to have some symptoms.

Less than a week until the ultrasound.  Still a little nervous about it, but I do feel better.

My difficulties are now making sure I eat enough.  Hunger is coming and going, feeling nauseous is coming and going, foods I generally like make me ill…its difficult.  Its hard to ‘control’ my intake when my stomach isn’t letting me.  But it is a good challenge to just try to listen to my body.  It has a really big job right now and I have to make sure to listen to it when it is trying to tell me something…

twinkle twinkle

Back in the gym.  It felt good after having last week off.  I think I’m going to make a better attempt to take week long breaks every 6-8 weeks, especially with the pregnancy.

1. Bench press:  after warm-up:  4 sets of 8: 55
2. Row:  after warm-up: 4 sets of 8:  115
3. Seated db press:  4 sets of 8: 20
4. Straight arm pull-down:  4 sets of 8: 70
5. V-bar tricep push-down: 3 sets of 10:  60
6. Machine fly:  4 sets of 10: 35
7. Lat raise:  2 sets of 6: 15; 1 set of 10: 12

One more week to go until the ultrasound.  Thank goodness.  Felt sick this morning until I ate something.  Then felt hungry two hours later even though nothing sounded good.  Had a bit of a coffee aversion this morning but wanted milk in some coffee.  Interesting.  Still breaking out, which is annoying.  Of course all of this could be in my head.  Sigh.  And it doesn’t help when I read about women who discovered a blighted ovum.  Ugh.  That is my worst nightmare for the next few weeks.  Of course I know if it happens then it is probably chromosomal and nothing to do with me.  But I can’t help worrying.  Especially since my intake hasn’t been as good.  I keep reading about ‘pregorexia’ and it concerns me.  I hate feeling hungry and I keep telling myself I ‘shouldn’t’ feel hungry yet since I’m only 6 weeks along.  But maybe its ok?  Maybe its normal?  Ugh.

Made a really cute video of Zev ‘singing’ twinkle-twinkle-little-star.  Jason is playing with the video now.  Its adorable.  They were learning the song at daycare, and he can ‘sort of’ sing along and make hand movements.  Brilliant kid.  We’re really lucky….

pregnancy symptoms

A list of pregnancy symptoms:

1. Breaking out a little bit.  Since I NEVER break out, this is something.
2. Breasts feel different.  Not sore, but ‘different’.  More full, or I’m just more aware of them.   But size is the same.
3. Some increased discharge.  Again, since this is something I NEVER experience, it is something.
4. GI changes.  Granted I may be the queen of GI problems, but there has definitely been an increase in issues the last two weeks.  I had been doing well with the laxatives, but now I’m having some difficulty again.
5. Extreme fatigue last week.  This is gone now, but I was VERY tired.  Could have been the lack of sleep due to the virus, but in the past I have been able to go on 5-6 hours.
6. Maybe hungry more?  But I’m bad at that.
7. Had some eye sensitivity for two evenings.
8. Distention.  I already look pregnant, for goodness sakes.

So it isn’t as if I were having ZERO symptoms.  But, as I said to Jason, unless I’m puking in the bathroom or sobbing 3x/day, I don’t think I’m pregnant.  I just have to try to stay calm and keep in mind that I have no proof that there is anything wrong and a bunch of (possible) symptoms that say otherwise…

And even if I did have symptoms, it could mean nothing.  You can continue to have symptoms after a miscarriage due to the slow decrease in hormones.  So I may as well not try to think too much about it…

I was hoping to set Zev up with some music classes tomorrow, but they cancelled them due to low enrollment.  I’m disappointed…I think he would have really liked it.  Perhaps in the fall.  Not sure what else we’ll do tomorrow then.  I’ll have to look at the weather and see what’s going on…

Did not go to the gym yesterday or today.  Just not up for it and decided to take a training break.  It was hard to do, but my motivation sucks which probably means I need a break.  So I’ve been doing some biking which has made me feel a bit more ‘fit’ and helped with the bloating.  We’ll see how I feel next week…

and now the eye starts

Stupid eye.  Only I would show eye sensitivity as a pregnancy symptom….

Still have a cough.  Still tired.  Breasts are a little ‘off’.  But still not convinced….

therapy

Did not lift today. Decided to turn today into a cardio day instead.  I’ll do my lower lifting tomorrow.  It works better for me this way since I have to pick up Zev on Tuesdays.

Still sick.  I didn’t go to the YDN board meeting because I desperately need to sleep and can’t risk coming home at midnight.  I’ll be taking the codeine again, this time earlier, and hopefully it will work better.  Ugh.  I did some reading and it seems that coughing isn’t uncommon in pregnancy.  Great.  I still hope it goes away soon…

Work was ok.  I’ll be doing a new experiment tomorrow.  Had therapy with Karen this morning as well.  She is just shocked that I’m pregnant.  It isn’t quite real to me yet.  I told her it wouldn’t be until I saw the ultrasound on the 30th.  I don’t feel pregnant, just tired.  But we did talk about what the possibilities were and how I shouldn’t just assume that something is wrong because I have more evidence that everything is ok rather than the opposite.  Which is true.  And as Jason keeps reminding me:  its very early to feel anything at all.  For all I know I could wake up throwing up in three days.  Or I could feel nothing the entire time.  Each pregnancy is different, and I don’t remember when I started feeling really emotional last time…

Hard to believe that was so long ago.  Zev is almost 1.5 years old.  Yikes.  Time has just flown.  And he’s gotten so big.  As Jason said the other day:  he is definitely a boy.  Climbing on things, exploring things.  He likes to play with his puzzles in my lap on the floor and I look forward to it.  Its a little boring (I’ll be honest) but he really enjoys it and I like that.  He still doesn’t really call me ‘mommy’, but he will soon I hope.  

Have lunch with Jaime tomorrow but I don’t think I’m going to tell her I’m pregnant.  I don’t really want to talk about it yet, again, until I see an ultrasound.  Then I’ll be more confident about it.  Two weeks away.

and bring on the drugs

Upper workout:

1. Bench:  45×10; 55×10; 55×10; 55×10; 55×10
2. Supported row:  50×10; 70×10; 70×10; 70×10; 70×10
3. Seated db press:  four sets of 20×10
4. lat pulldown:  3 sets of 80×10
5. incline fly:  20×10; three sets of 22.5×10
6. front raise: 3 sets of 20×10
7. v bar tricep pushdown:  3 sets of 60×10

So so so so tired today.  I almost took a nap in the bathroom.  Again, its this horrible virus.  Its been a week.  I ended up going to the doctor today and now have robitussen + codeine.  He said it would be fine even if I’m pregnant.  At least the codeine will help me sleep.  I’m also trying flonase in case its an allergy.  Ugh.  I really really need some sleep…  And I’m very tired of being bloated.  Ugh.

Talking with Lauren about her bf really makes me appreciate Jason more.  I was remembering how we met earlier today and it was giving me a nice feeling.  :)

Some challenges today:  had some oats with breakfast which is usually a no-no.  And having it again before bed.  why not?  It fits and I want to.  I think my concern had been that I would end up overeating at night…but as I write this I’m still a little hungry and I know it fits in my plan, so its ok.  I wasn’t hungry at ALL today:  too bloated.  Even though I am ‘going’ enough.  Perhaps it is just slow upper GI?  I really need to call Dr Nath again and see what she recommends now.

See Karen tomorrow morning for the first time since the pregnancy update.  Looking forward to that.  Tomorrow I may not do a lower body workout…we’ll see.  I’m tending towards only doing it 1x/week since I’m cutting out most of my cardio.  But we’ll see how I feel tomorrow….

Too tired.

So so so so tired.  I have barely slept in days…stupid cough.  And I’m sure some of it is pregnancy related.  I am tired all day.  Tomorrow Jason is on call so hopefully I can handle Zev ok.

Did go to the gym for a little bit:

1. Squats:  45×8; 65×8; 65×8; 65×8
2. Walking lunges:  3 sets of 50×10
3. Side bends: 3 sets of 10×10
4. Back extensions:  3 sets of 10×10
5. Leg extensions:  4 sets of 113×10
6. Leg press:  both legs because I was tired:  4 sets of 90×10

That’s it.  I was pooped.

Saw Harold and Maude finally with Jason.  Good movie.  Weird.  Makes you want to live life to the fullest.  Ha.

Too tired.

stupid cough

Still very tired.  Did not go to the gym today and instead came home and did some cardio.

Told Moore I was pregnant and didn’t get a great reaction.  But I think it was my fault in the way that I told him….that, and I think he just isn’t going to ‘get it’, being a male.  But at least that’s done.  I’m so tired at work now, and my stomach comes/goes.  Before it really affects my work, I wanted him to know.  Hopefully he won’t give me a hard time about it….I’m nervous about that.  But I guess if he does, that means he’s a bad manager and says more about him than it does about me…

I wish this stupid cough would go away….